How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

When it comes to cats, we all know they’re the cutest little balls of fur that are really warm and loving.

They love to come up for attention and affection, and they greet us when we come home from a hard day’s work.

But despite their cuddly exterior, we often forget that they’re nature’s perfect killing machine – and cats are highly intelligent.

What if your cat is actually secretly plotting to kill you? Would you know? How would you react?

Our guide will show you some warning signs and what you should do if you suspect that your little fur-baby is actually planning your early demise!

Why Would My Cat Want To Kill Me?

Cats as we know them are small and cute, and we give them all of our love, feed them and give them a warm, affectionate place to live.

Why on earth would they want you dead?

Well, we typically forget that cats come from a primal state of hunting and violence.

If you were to encounter a leopard, a tiger, a lion or a cheetah – you wouldn’t think twice about the rationale behind wanting to kill you, you would just run away from the area, right?

Just remember – your tiny furry friend is just a smaller version of these big cats.

Although they might not simply tear you to shreds right away and feed upon the leftovers, they might be thinking much more strategically and have plans… much bigger plans.

You’ve Become… A Nuisance

As much as cats like to think that they run the place, the truth that they secretly know is that they are the tenant living at your place.

That means that your rules are the ones they must follow. They might consider you a tyrant.

You’re preventing them from having food whenever they want, you’re stopping them going out when they want to go out, and you’re always in the way when they want to sleep!

Perhaps your feline friend has decided that this has to stop. They’ve decided that they wish to seize power, and they’re planning to do so!

With you out of the way, they can eat, sleep and play whenever they want – and their rebellious nature is telling them to act upon these dreams.

They’ve Lost It

Much like humans, sometimes a cat will have just lost it!

If your cat is on a killing spree, the fact that you’re their human no longer matters! Your little buddy is bloodthirsty and is hell-bent on violence!

They’re Hungry

Cats can eat almost anything. Fish, birds… and humans.

Maybe they’ve decided that they’re tired of basic dry food and wet food, and now they’re looking for something much more sustainable, and you’re looking like a tasty snack right about now.

Warning Signs That Your Cat Is Plotting Your End

So, if your cat wants to get rid of you – how would you know? We’ve come up with some warning signs that your adorable little friend is planning something deadly!

Kneading Their Paws On You

Also known as “making biscuits”, this is usually a sign of affection… but what if it’s not? What if your cat is actually testing out how tough you are.

Possibly they’re checking your internal organs for signs of a weakness or potential spot for their deadly atrocities!

They’re Burying Things A Lot More

Have you recently noticed your feline friend is burying things out in the garden, their litter box or digging areas much more than usual?

This is a sure-fire sign they’re practicing to bury you.

They want to get away with the purrfect crime, and they have to hide the body!

It’s A Gift…. And A Curse!

We often think that when our cats bring us animals as gifts, this is a sign of love, trust and affection – but no.

You’ve got this all wrong… this isn’t a positive sign. They’re warning you of what will happen to you next. It’s time to run away!

They’re Staring You Down

If someone in a bar is staring at you, you’d think they might have aggression or violence in their mind – and your cat is no exception.

They’re staring you out, plotting… planning. They are expecting you to avert your gaze. You do that? You’re weak. They will finish you soon enough.


Maybe you’ve noticed your cat is hiding in places and keeping their sharp, watchful eyes on you. This is something to watch out for!

They’re spying on you, checking your habits and drawing up their plans for your fatal end.

Lying On Your Laptop

We sometimes think if our cat does this, that they want our love and to say hello – wrong.

The cat is stopping you from contacting the police. They are stopping communication methods and nobody will know what happened to you!

Eating Grass And Throwing Up

It’s common for your cat to throw up on the rug, right? Well… sort of. In this case?

The cat is purging their body and getting themselves into peak, fighting condition. You really should start to panic.

They’ve Run Away From The Room

This is the easiest way to know of their deadly plot. They’ve run away at breakneck speed from the room. This was a failed attack!

They were going to ambush you, but you’ve caught them in the act… but they will try again.

The Bottom Line

Cats are the perfect little killing machines. If you notice any of the warning signs above – there is only one thing you can do.

Love them! Give them affection, treats and play time.

In reality, your cat is not plotting to kill you.

They love their humans and as long as you’re treating your cat correctly, your love will be reciprocated, and you’ll spend many years with your furry feline friend!

Courtney Trent
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