Do Male And Female Cats Get On?

Cats are known for being independent creatures who don’t always get along with other animals or humans.

Their sometimes solitary nature is rooted in genetics and their ancestors, as the forerunners to the domestic cat were solo predators who relied on their agility and intelligence to take down prey, whilst using their wits and wary nature to not end up as dinner themselves.

Whilst cats can be quite solitary, they can also be really affectionate and love company when it appeals to them, especially around their favorite people.

Once a bond is formed with a cat it is hard to shake, and it is the reason many people consider them fur babies, rather than animals.

However, does this bond extend to other cats? If they love the people they’ve bonded with, then they must have an affection for other cats as well.

Does this bond also extend to cats of the opposite sex. Are they friends or foes?

If you got a male and female cat, would they get along or absolutely despise one another?

In this article, we will delve deeper into cat relations and see whether a lasting friendship can be formed between two cats of the opposite gender.

Differences Between Female And Male Cats

The differences between male and female cats is not that big when they have been neutered or spayed.

The reason is that a lot of the behavioral differences between the two come down to hormones and sex drive, which is not so different from most creatures.


Spayed and neutered cats tend to be affectionate and loving to those they love, and get along with most members of the household well.

The real problems that you will get with a spayed or neutered cat will have more to do with their direct personality, like if they are petty or clingy, rather than with their sex.

This is a bonus most of the time, and there are few downsides to either gender when sex drive is taken out of the equation.

Still, when it comes to cats who have not been spayed or neutered, that is a different matter entirely.

These cats in general will act much more unpredictable to humans, but vary in line with their sexuality and urges.

We will look at unneutered male’s behavior first.

Surprisingly, male cats are far more affectionate and will seek your company and your companionship a lot more than females.

They also tend to be a lot more relaxed around humans, and you will often find them joining in on any activity that their favorite human is doing, simply because it is their human doing it.

By comparison, females are far more independent than males and will be happy to be left at home or happy for you to do your own thing without their interruption.

They can be quite wary, but this can be a bonus around unfamiliar people, as they will tend to avoid them and remain loyal to their human.


With that said, both of the genders have downsides when it comes to cats. For males, it is aggression and territory.

Even if they are our companions, cats are still animals, and they will fight other males they see as on their turf.

They will also spray musk – a foul smelling secretion – on their territory, which is not ideal as that territory is in fact your home.

The other problem with males is that they will randomly just disappear sometimes.

Males often go on the prowl for female cats, sometimes this lasts an hour, sometimes its weeks, you can just never know.

This is annoying and if you find out they have impregnated a female, a bit irritating, as other cat owners in the area may begin to associate you with your randy cat and start to keep their cats inside to avoid further unwanted pregnancies.

For females, they are more unpredictable than males in their mood, which comes from being more wary.

They can sometimes lash out if they don’t feel comfortable or begin to feel stressed.

This is a particular concern if you have children running around the house scaring the cats.

Fertile queen cats can also become pregnant and when we say fertile, we mean very fertile.

A female cat can become pregnant up to 3 times a year, with up to 12 kittens in some breeds.

A litter of kittens is lovely, continuous litters of kittens for up to 20 years of a cat’s life is a nightmare. What do you do with them? Who do you sell them to?

It is a hard thing to deal with, and it is the reason that people often spay females after their first or second litter.

The last issue with having a female cat is similar to the spraying issue with the male cats. Female cats yowl to attract mates.

A useful skill for a nocturnal creature in the wild, a terrible noise for 9 to 5-ivers at 3 am in the suburbs.

It is not their fault that they go into heat and have the urge to scream, but it is aggravating.

Even though it seems a lot of the differences are negatives, we could write an article twice as long about the positives of cats.

It’s just the differences between the genders tend to be related to some sexual activity that normally is a detriment to humans, like spraying a skunk like substance on our new door frame or screaming at the top of their lungs at an ungodly hour of the night.

Do Female And Male Cats Get On?

Although humans have weird preconceived notions about gender differences, as do some other animals, this is only the case for cats when they are in heat and looking to procreate.

In fact, the personality and temperament of the cat is far more important to cats getting along than the actual gender itself.

As a rule of thumb, cats love routine and consistency. Their ancestors were animals that were wary and cautious with good reason, and so cats are the same.

Change in our world often represents bad things as well as good things, so cats are adverse to it.

Bringing a new cat into the house, no matter the gender, will make your cat react warily around them at best and be frightened or hostile at worst.

Another condition that affects a cat’s sociability is breed. Purebreds have quite consistent temperaments, and you can predict how they will react to things typically.

For example, a Maine Coon is a very intelligent and very social cat, therefore it would react better to a new cat in the house compared to some breeds.

Mixed-breed cats are less predictable and introducing a new cat around them should be done with some caution due to this, but as long as you know the heritage you can somewhat predict how it will react.

The environment is also a huge factor.

If you live in a house with lots of people and constant, loud conversation or noise, the cat will be more acclimatized to sociability and will take to the new cat better.

However, if you live in a quiet home with little noise and only 1 or 2 people, then expect your cat to react poorly to a sudden and unprecedented change, like this new cat.

Lastly, your cat’s personality in general will affect how it reacts. For example, two sister cats that we know of are called Fey and Deb.

Fey is incredibly social and fearless, loving anyone who comes near her. Deb is skittish and wary, but deeply loves those who she trusts.

They were raised in the same litter, in the same circumstances, but their personalities have influenced their behavior.

Ways To Make This A Smooth Transition

If you wish to get a new cat in your home, here is what you should do to aid your current feline friend.

First, make sure that the new cat’s temperament matches that of your cat.

If you have a wary and quiet cat, do not get a screaming, demanding one. They will not get on.

Let the cats get used to the change as well. This is a big development for both of them, and they will probably be scared or nervous for a while.

Make sure you are there to be a comfort to them, but let them find their feet in the new home or with the new resident.

Finally, don’t force them to do things. Don’t make your old cat share their toys, buy the new cat new ones. Never force them together.

This is a certified bad move. The cats won’t eventually get along if you force them together, they will fight and then start to avoid you.

Introduce them slowly instead, and keep them in their own separate spaces for a while before making every area accessible.

Also, it would be good to instill in them their own spaces, if they aren’t getting on.

Say if your old cat likes sleeping on the towels in the airing cupboard, make sure the new cat knows this area is off-limits.

Likewise, if the new cat is hiding in the shoe den and feels safe there, make sure the old cat knows this area is not for it for a time.

Having a safe space will make them feel comfortable and make them more likely to engage and socialize.


There is no real problem in having boy and girl cats living together in your household.

The only real issue is the sex drive of both animals and the potential for a litter of kittens.

Personality and temperament will determine whether you have any real concerns with your cats more than gender, therefore choose cats based on those, not their sex.

Courtney Trent
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